Research, find out, gather data, reflect, talk with person(s) who are knowledgeable about the issue if possible, talk with a friend, family member or another person who knows and cares about you, if appropriate (a good person for this will help you to reflect but will realise that the decision has to be yours).
Consider the perspectives of major contributors in this area; eg. experts, law, experienced people, the Church (from reliable resources, not, for example most media presentations that often fail to present Church teaching accurately.) Try to do this without prejudice, open to the wisdom that might be available.
- Weigh up the information from different sources.
- Consider possible consequences.
From St. Ignatius of Loyola:
- Pray for help and guidance. (If there is a divine power, a God who cares for us, it makes sense that this divine being would care about the choices and decisions we make!)
- Decide.
- Stay with the decision for a time, if possible eg. a few days etc.
- If you find yourself experiencing PEACE deep within; this may indicate that the decision is a good one. Note: When a decision is right, it is possible to feel deep peace within, even when the decision may be one that you don’t want to have to make, and when, on the ‘surface,’ you may even feel some grief, loss or similar. The right decisions are sometimes not easy to carry out. However, of course, it is possible to feel deep PEACE within, that is felt on the surface as well! Scripture and experience teach us that one of the results (fruits) of the action of God’s Spirit is inward peace at a deep level.
- If you find that you experience lack of any peace at a deep level, turmoil, anxiety, or uneasiness – when you reflect upon the decision you have made. Then pray some more. It may be because
- - This may not be a right decision.
- - You may need to go back to earlier steps; there may be more work to do before deciding.
- - It may be that it is not the right time for this decision.
St Ignatius taught:
Do not make a life changing decision when feeling down, angry, depressed, upset etc.
“What the Spirit brings is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness,
gentleness and self control.” [Galatians 5:22-23]