He would reply "In the moments of my extreme disappointments and difficulties, I sought Jesus Christ and I let Jesus Christ take over what I say, what I think and what I do. The result was that I stopped relying solely on my power and I let Jesus present within me to carry me through the difficult moment that I was facing. In this way, I faced what I had to face and I overcame what seemed to me impossible to do. I became most strong at the moment when I felt the most weak because I trusted and I relied on Jesus Christ, my God".
We all have problems to face and difficult situations to endure. These moments can be moments of grace rather than moments of desperation. They can be moments of opportunities rather than moments of destruction. This depends on how much we are willing to bring Jesus Christ into such situations. This depends on whether we rely solely on our giftedness when facing these realities or whether we are prepared to stop and listen to what Jesus is telling us. Indeed we learn a lot through our moments of weakness. I spent quite a bit of time in hospital last year. I never expected what occurred to me. It was a sickness that I experienced as a complete surprise. It stopped me in my tracks. It was also an opportunity to make me reflect on where my life was going. It provided me with a chance to learn some very basic things that will surely influence how I am going to live the rest of my life. During the time of my sickness I learnt some very basic things. I would like to share three with you.
The first thing that I learnt is that every day is a gift from God. God cares for us so much that He has given to us each day to live to the full. Each day is a grace through which we can become aware of so much beauty around us and through which we can help all those that we come in contact with. Every morning when I open my eyes I make this prayer. "Jesus, my God, I thank you for the gift of today. Bless whatever I say and do during this day. Make me an instrument of your presence. May the people who I meet today will realize deeper how much you care for us through my presence. May I give hope and peace to those who need it. May I be a source of consolation to those who are affected and may I also be a source of joy and encouragement to all.
The second thing that I learnt is the value and importance of simple prayers. I have to admit that during the time that I spent in hospital I did not find it easy to pray. I became so distracted and at times so preoccupied that I did not have the strength and even the will to pray. I remember clearly one day when I was undergoing a cat scan. I was strapped in this machine as if I was in a tube and for a considerable time I had to just stay there for the doctors to ascertain what was going on in me. At that moment, the only prayers that I could pray were the prayer to the Guardian Angel and the Rosary. These are the prayers that my mother taught me since I was a little child. I have attended may retreats and conferences. I have given many retreats and have spoken at international conferences. Yet at that moment, all my faith was expressed in simple basic formal prayers.
It is important for parents to teach children simple prayers like the Hail Mary, the Our Father, the Creed, the Gloria, and the Rosary. These prayers taught as children will always remain in the deepest core of our spirits and in turn will enable us to communicate with our God spontaneously in our difficult moments. It is heartening to see that our schools have as their official programme of religious education for the young children the learning and getting familiar with such prayers. As a hospital chaplain I have often found it so wonderful that these basic prayers helped so many people who have not practiced their faith for such a long time, to connect and to relate with ease with our God.
The third thing that I learnt is that very often in moments of sickness and difficulties, you cannot control anything anymore. Generally speaking as we grow up we develop more and more the tendency to be in control and to control we build our own securities and we become dependent on these securities. We defend our securities to the hilt because our whole life becomes dependent on them. However, time of weakness and sickness show us clearly that our security lies only in God. All our efforts and all our qualities can help but in many cases they are not able to provide the necessary security to get better. Ultimately we come to realise that our security, our hope and our trust is God. So, I live every day, using all the gifts that God has given me, but also knowing full well that without God I am fooling myself. I live my daily life in constant companionship with my God because with God I have the ultimate victory.
St Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits captures very well all the above in his prayer of self dedication. "Take all my freedom Lord; accept the whole of my memory, understanding and will. Whatever I have or hold comes to me from your bounty. I give it all back to you, surrender it all to the guidance of your will. Your grace and the love of you are wealth enough: give me but that, and ask for nothing more".
