DIOCESE OF SANDHURST
GUIDELINES FOR SPEAKING IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE DECEASED

The Order of Christian Funerals states that “A member or a friend of the family may speak in remembrance of the deceased.”  OCF#170
The Order recommends that these words be spoken after the Communion Prayer and before the Final Commendation.  In the Diocese of Sandhurst the preference is for the words to be spoken at the beginning of the rite, after the greeting by the Presider and before the placing of the Baptismal symbols.

Some points to be considered regarding the words of remembrance:

• Clear and consistent practice must be established in parishes.  A sheet with a suggested approach would be helpful for families needing to prepare for a funeral.
• The words of remembrance are a valid part of the funeral rites and cannot be omitted unless the family chooses to leave them out.
• There should only be one person speak at the funeral rather than a series of people.
• The words should recall the good life of the deceased, and suggest how the person could be best remembered with inspiration.  They should remember that, as Christians, we anticipate our meeting in the next life and our future resurrection together.
• The words should deal compassionately of the deceased’s life
• The words must be appropriate to the context of a worship space and its gathered community.  Inappropriate language and content should be avoided.
• The words should be a reasonable length. 5 – 7 Minutes in total
• The reflection should be written out, practiced in front of others and if possible given to the Presider ahead of time.
• The funeral is not the only place where words of remembrance may be spoken.  It is more suitable that words are spoken at the Vigil, Committal Service and/or the Wake, where anecdotes, personal stories, poems, songs or Power Point presentations may be responded to more readily.
• The Homily is never to be a eulogy.  The homilist should dwell on God’s compassionate love and on the Paschal mystery of the Lord, as proclaimed in the Scripture readings.  OCF#27
• The words of remembrance cannot replace the homily, nor should they immediately follow it.

Policy and Guidelines for the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and first Eucharist, and their preparation, celebrations and catechesis.

A Guide to Marriage and Marriage Education in the Diocese of Sandhurst.

1. The Sandhurst Diocese believes in the dignity of all young people, regardless of cultural background or employment or relationship status, and seeks to find new and better ways to promote this.
2. Young people come from a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences, yet all of them seek to develop meaning and purpose in their lives.
3. Young people belong - in an important, significant, and irreplaceable way - in the life of our Church community and wider society. As such, their contributions should always be respected and encouraged.
4. The Sandhurst Diocese is committed to helping young people find a sense of meaning and purpose in life, to achieve their full potential in our community, and to know the true and unconditional love of God revealed in Jesus Christ.
5. Young people are called by the Church community to use their talents in working towards a better world, and to live this out in their daily relationships with others.
6. Every member of the Sandhurst Diocese is called to assist in the fulfilment of this vision.

March 2001

Vision

To facilitate the faithful in full, conscious and active participation in the liturgical celebrations in the Diocese of Sandhurst

The liturgy presupposes in the life of individuals and the community, a commitment to the "Mystery of Salvation." This implies a commitment in faith to Jesus the Christ, risen and present in the individual, the Church and all creation. Therefore when we gather he is present in the assembled community, the Word proclaimed, the Eucharist and the minister.

The Order of Christian Funerals offers rich and varied rites and texts as well as valuable general principles and instruction. These notes presume that celebrants, funeral directors and parish bereavement groups are familiar with it and have assess to it. These accompanying notes serve to complement it and give further pastoral guidance on preparations and local customs.

The people and ministries

Every person, including nursing and medical staff, welfare personnel and other carers, funeral directors and pastoral and liturgical ministers, has their particular and important role when someone dies. The family of the deceased, the priest and the parish bereavement team or liturgy group are normally involved in preparing the funeral liturgy. Specific roles are expanded upon below.

The places for various celebrations

The home or hospital, the church, the cemetery or crematorium and the reception hall or home are places which have their own significant and appropriate rituals for the dying, the deceased, the bereaved and the community.

Three major rites in the Catholic Order of Christian Funerals have their own purpose, genre, structure and a special sense of progression:

• The Vigil in the church, chapel or home is often the first time for family and friends to gather for prayer and keeping watch. Some families may be unaware that the Order of Christian Funerals provides many options from a rich Catholic tradition of readings and prayers. The rosary, if especially desired, may be integrated into the vigil liturgy. Other ritual and words may be better suited here than at the funeral Mass, especially sharing stories and symbols of the person’s life.
• The Funeral Mass in the church is the central funeral liturgy focusing upon the death and resurrection of Christ and the faith and hope of Christian people. For some families unfamiliar with the Mass, a Liturgy of the Word with final commendation may be chosen. Other Masses should not be needlessly added to distract from this central liturgy. Because of its public and growing popular nature, the celebrant and planners must be aware of ecumenical and social issues and be sensitive to the needs and anxieties of the families and a very varied congregation.
• The Committal Rite in the cemetery or crematorium is the final farewell and separation of the body of the deceased from the community and so should not be neglected in importance or preparation.

When the rites at these times and places properly explained and performed, the family are helped in their grieving process. There are both human and divine elements in the progression of the rites from the initial notice of death to the final letting go. Care and wisdom is needed in choosing the appropriate rites, texts, gestures and actions at these places so the life and death of the Christian is commemorated and farewelled with pastoral sensitivity and in accordance to current Church practices.

Preparing the Liturgy

The places, dates and times for the funeral liturgy (and vigil, if desired) and burial service (rite of committal) should first be negotiated with the priest and family. A time should be arranged early for the family to gather with the priest and/or parish bereavement ministers to prepare the liturgy.

Parishes should have easy to follow resources to assist the family to select readings, prayers, prayers of the faithful, music and hymns.

Booklet or leaflets may be helpful but are not always needed. Hymnbooks or overhead projector screens may serve the purpose well. Preferably the congregation should listen to the scriptures proclaimed rather than follow texts from booklets.

Preparing the booklet may be a way for people to contribute to the preparation, or it may be an unnecessary burden upon them or the parish. Ensure that copyrights are observed and texts are correctly arranged and placed in booklet to avoid page turning during a specific rite or texts.

Liturgical ministries (readers, leading prayers of the faithful, servers, eucharistic ministers) are integral to the liturgy and properly express the nature of liturgical celebration. Family and or parishioners should be selected with care, and be prepared for their tasks beforehand.

Liturgy of the Word - the readings

The readings express both the Christian meaning of life, death and resurrection and are important to express our faith and receive consolation and encouragement. The Gospel should be the first chosen, then readings from the Old Testament and Psalm and the New Testament (if required). Paraphrased readings are not suitable and non-scriptural readings do not have a place in the Liturgy of the Word. The readings should be proclaimed from the Lectionary or other worthy liturgical books.

Preferably the Psalm or at least the response should be sung. The Gospel Acclamation, if not sung, may be omitted. Note that the Alleluia Verse is not said or sung during Lent but may be replaced by another form of the Gospel Acclamation.

Prayers of the Faithful

Often the family would like to spend time preparing these prayers. Resources, which lay out samples in sections: for the church, for the deceased, for the family, for the community, and for particular needs, are most helpful.

Placing of Symbols

Christian symbols (paschal candle [preferably already lit], white pall, cross, sprinkling of holy water, bible, rosary beads and missal) may be placed on or near the coffin before or during the Funeral Mass. They have their own special significance and should be placed simply, with dignity and without much explanation. Short verses and responses or music may accompany the action. Other symbols or personal articles should be restricted to the vigil or the home and, if left in the Church, placed on a table distinct from the altar and coffin.

Music and Hymns

The responses in the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist have first priority to be sung, though pastoral considerations may modify this general principle.

It is a good to choose a gathering song, which is accessible for the entire congregation to sing. Instrumental music is preferable at the Presentation of the Gifts, though a hymn reflecting the action of presenting the gifts of bread and wine may be sung.

A communion hymn should be familiar and easy for the congregation to sing without undue reference to words, e.g. a song with a repetitive chorus.

When the distribution of Communion is finished, as circumstances allow, a reflective hymn to assist silent prayer or a hymn of thanksgiving may be sung. The "Song of Farewell" may be sung during the sprinkling with holy water and incensing of the coffin. Otherwise this is done in silence.

The final hymn may be replaced with suitable instrumental music. If a hymn is chosen, it should speak of our faith in the resurrection and eternal life.

Choosing hymns or songs that were the deceased person’s favourites are often not appropriate for the occasion of mourning, or liturgical celebration and congregational participation. They may be more fitting to play and listen to at smaller, intimate gatherings to commemorate the person.

The Words of Remembrance

Words of Remembrance, recalling the life, deeds and special stories of the deceased are best given by only one family member or friend as part of the Introductory Rites, that is after the greeting by the presider, and before the placing of Christian symbols. These words should avoid a purely biographical account or series of anecdotes, which are more familiar in so-called eulogies and more appropriate after the vigil or at the reception. The length of the words of remembrance should be in keeping with the length of the homily, that is five to seven minutes, so that the liturgy is balanced and progresses evenly. These words should be written out, and if possible, shared with the celebrant beforehand.

See update guidelines

Homily

The homily serves to illumine the scripture texts and focus on the death and resurrection of Christ, God’s compassion and love and the faith and hope of Christians. The homilist, likewise, should avoid words that are simply biographical or anecdotal in nature.

Rite of Commendation

The rite commendation and farewell immediately follows the post-communion prayer. Silence or a hymn may be sung during the sprinkling and the incensation of the coffin; the celebrant should avoid explanation. The Lord’s Prayer is not said here. The final blessing and dismissal are omitted.

Pastoral Care

After the burial or committal rite, the gathering for refreshments or a meal is both natural and an opportunity for people to meet informally. It is also a sign to the bereaved family that people and ministers continue to care for them.

Funerals present an enormous opportunity for evangelisation and Christian service and witness. People can experience the human face of the Church through its care, concern and effective liturgies. For some it may be their only experience in many years of the Catholic Church and for them an opportunity to explore questions about their faith.

Written and recommended by the Diocesan Liturgical Commission, 27 April 2003

Approved and promulgated by the Bishop of Sandhurst, 4 July 2003

The Professional Standards Committee of the Diocese of Sandhurst is part of the structure under the protocols established by Towards Healing process (n. 39) which requires that each Bishop have a consultative group to assist him in the formulation and review of Diocesan policies and practices relating to professional standards, specifically implementation of the process outlined in Towards Healing for responding to allegations of abuse of children, young persons and vulnerable adults.

The Safeguarding Committee of the Diocese of Sandhurst is part of the structure under the National Catholic Safeguarding Standards which is designed to be implemented by Catholic entities across Australia. The Standards constitute a framework which articulates the requirements for Catholic entities to promote the safety of children, young people (a child or young person is anyone under the age of 18 years) and adults at risk (an adult at risk is any person over the age of 18 years who is at an increased risk of experiencing abuse or exploitation, including by virtue of their age, disability, diminished capacity, cognitive impairment, cultural background, life or personal circumstance) through the implementation of policies and activities to prevent, respond and report concerns regarding all types of abuse.

Please find a list of Child Safety policies held by the Catholic Diocese of Sandhurst

Please find a list of Child Safety policies held by the Catholic Diocese of Sandhurst

Please find a list of policies held by the Catholic Diocese of Sandhurst

Bishop of Sandhurst Leslie Tomlinson reads the Plenary Council Prayer at the Sacred Heart Cathedral on Pentecost Sunday in preparation for the Plenary Council in 2020.